There is a reoccurrence when you are a person of colour that causes immeasurable heartbreak.
When you love someone who is white in any capacity, as a friend, as a partner, an artist, as a future family member, there is a level of trust and level of love that you gift.
And with that trust there’s always a risk that they will be racist, or say something racist, or have complete disregard for the lived experience you have had as a marginalized person.
You might find out they see you as white/one of them, and that’s the only reason why even getting along so well.
You might find out all of the micro aggressions that you were able to shove off are really indicators of a deeply problematic unwillingness to change.
You might find out that your life has little to no value for them if it were a question of your safety.
This might happen after weeks, months, someone you've grown to love over years.
So when a person of colour says that they don’t feel safe, they don’t trust someone, it’s because we had our hearts and our trust broken over and over and over again by white people we had loved.
Arthi Chandra. June 8th, 2020.